It is unfortunate that forgiveness is commonly looked upon as a weakness. Perhaps, because, like guilt, forgiveness often takes on a completely undeserved moral heaviness.
The capacity to forgive is one of the greatest transformative experiences we have.
The lightness and transformative power or forgiveness is accessible to all. While tragedy and trauma happen and these events are not to be trivialised, the response to these things cannot be to reinforce pain and suffering via emotional heaviness, reliving suffering and pain by recounting painful and stressful memories.
According to an online dictionary definition, forgiveness is to:
- “stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake.”
- “no longer feel angry about or wish to punish (an offence, flaw, or mistake)”
You’ll probably notice in these definitions, there’s not much about memory, trauma, or negative emotions. Forgiveness is, essentially, a recalibration of an emotional state.
Instead of going deep into forgiveness, let’s do something different.
The Transformative Power of Forgiveness
Let’s start with the effects of forgiveness, and the recalibration of emotions:
- You are more positive, kind and caring towards yourself
- You transform your internal dialogue to those things positive and interesting to you
- You can become successful and the best person you can be
- You can focus on getting all things you want
- Your self-concept and self-confidence will skyrocket
- You achieve your goals
- You get all your material, emotional, psychological and physical wants and needs met.
Without forgiveness, you experience lots of negatives:
- You have resentment, blame and anger
- You give your power over to someone or something else
- You experience negative emotions and feelings
- You don’t get the things you want
- Your self-esteem goes down
- You don’t achieve your goals
- You don’t get the material, emotional, psychological or physical things you need
- You limit yourself
What’s the Best Way to Forgive?
It’s a simple formula. However, it works:
You stop being angry, resentful, or holding blame in general
There’s nothing about the memory. There’s nothing about the other person. There’s nothing about specific details.
It’s your attitude toward life.
You transform into a positive, constructive, successful, encouraging person.
That’s the real purpose of forgiveness.